The Perfect Submissive Read online

  Matthew nearly swallowed his tongue. "You've got to be kidding me! You think I don't know what I'm doing? Have you looked at me? I'm wearing a leather vest! Look at my boots! These are ass-kicking boots. These are Dom boots."

  "You're a Dom?" Nose Ring asked skeptically.

  "Damn right, I am."

  "Maybe for lady-boys from Thailand."

  Matthew gave them both dirty looks. "It takes more than steroids to make a guy a Dominant."

  "Trust me," said Nose Ring. "We know. The sexiest Dom in this club tonight is proof of that."

  "Who's that? Point him out." Matthew just knew they'd point at a dumb meathead.

  The second blond pointed to one of the booths. "He's from the Raven, of course. He's so popular you have to pay for his time. Kinda sucks."

  "Shit," Matthew said. He didn't even have to move closer to guess who they were probably pointing at. Was Sebastian stalking him? This was ridiculous. "If you have to pay him that makes him no better than a prostitute," he declared.

  "So what?" Nose Ring said with a shrug. "If we had the money we'd shell out for him. One night would be incredible."

  "What if he's terrible? What if he tells you to suck him off and then that's it? I hear he's totally overrated." Matthew wagged his eyebrows. "Someone suggested he might have herpes too. But hey, you didn't hear it from me."

  Nose Ring smirked at Matthew. "Jealousy is ugly, dude. Take a hike. We told you we don't want you."

  The bass beat throbbed in Matthew's head like an aneurism about to blow. Humiliated and angry he shoved away from the blonds -- who weren't even cute, who the hell did they think they were? -- and headed blindly for the exit.

  That's what he intended anyway, but a wave of bodies pushed him back and then a song came on over the speakers that caused everyone around him to scream like lunatics. Then the bubbles started pouring down from tubes hanging from the ceiling. Basically it was a riot.

  "Let me out!" Matthew yelled, fighting to make forward progress.

  It wasn't happening. Like a bath toy, he was sucked toward the drain, the drain in this case being the VIP booths where the bane of his existence was holding court over a half a dozen beautiful and handsome men.

  It was so unfair. Matthew gave up fighting and let himself be pushed closer. The Raven must have had a reserved booth at Nine Inches for their staff. So many bottles and mixers crowded their table it looked like a mini skyline and the booth was surrounded by a crowd of slavish admirers. Two cocktail servers in tiny black shorts fawned over Sebastian and his guests, offering everything from cigars to finger sandwiches. It was an embarrassing spectacle, or would have been if a spotlight weren't aimed directly at Sebastian as he sat ensconced in the center of it all, as if even the Heavens found him glorious.

  "This is such a set-up," Matthew mumbled. He maneuvered his way through the bodies so he could watch the Raven booth without being noticed.

  They were definitely mostly Raven employees. He recognized some of the workers who had visited the Lonely Diner and the others were so attractive it would be a shock if they didn't work at the Raven. Matthew decided the four men, two on either side of Sebastian, were also Doms. The others flitting around them were submissives or wannabe subs, vying for their attention.

  Matthew scowled as he glanced at Sebastian to see which sycophant had caught his eye.

  Sebastian stared right back at Matthew, a faint smile on his face.

  "Shit." Matthew ducked behind a sweaty, beefy guy in a slave harness. When he peered around the guy's shoulder, Sebastian was still looking in his direction, only now he was openly grinning.

  Irritated and feeling ridiculous, Matthew stepped out so he was fully visible. No way was he letting Sebastian think he was hiding from him, even if a second ago he sort of was.

  In the booth, Sebastian raised a finger and curled it, indicating that Matthew should come to him. Matthew thought about turning on his heel and walking out. That would show Sebastian how much influence he really had. Too bad such an exit wouldn't be that smooth with a big wall of beef between him and the front door.

  He watched Sebastian cross one leg over the other and cock his head, as if curious about Matthew's hesitance. As if he were intrigued. That was a little better. That shifted the power back to Matthew. Maybe it was the outfit. The previous two times they'd met Matthew had been wearing that god-awful apron and diner shirt. Not exactly the uniform of a Dom. Now, though, now he was fitted out in his cruising gear. Now Sebastian was seeing him as he really was and clearly, by that bemused little smile on Sebastian's bow lips, he liked what he saw.

  With his cockiness rising, Matthew sauntered up to the booth, letting Sebastian look his fill. In turn, it gave him a better look at Sebastian, who was dressed in all white as if he wanted to milk the angelic angle for all it was worth. Grudgingly, Matthew had to admit Sebastian was gorgeous like this. The tight white pants -- were they leather? -- the long-sleeved white shirt which revealed how compact and slender Sebastian was, worked along with his head of pale blond curls to make him look deceptively innocent. Matthew knew better. Oh, how he knew better. This blond was the Devil.

  "It's like you're following me," Matthew blurted accusingly as soon as he was within speaking distance.

  He regretted it because the four men on either side of Sebastian ceased their conversations to glance at Matthew and then at Sebastian. All of them wore similar looks of bored incredulity.

  "Or maybe you're the one following me," Sebastian replied, smiling. In one hand he held the stem of an empty champagne glass. He held it up. "We're celebrating. I'm glad you could join us." He looked to the table where an ice bucket with a bottle inside it sat sweating on a folded napkin. "The champagne is there." He held up his empty glass to Matthew.

  At first Matthew thought he was offering him the glass to use, but something on Sebastian's face clued him in to the realization that Sebastian expected him to pour a refill.

  Matthew made a face.

  "I'm not your servant."

  That earned him a few more bored glances before the other Doms returned to their conversations. Sebastian continued to look up at Matthew placidly.

  "Not yet," Sebastian allowed. "We're getting there."

  Matthew was flustered by the other man's confidence because it wasn't showy and cocky it was simply confident. No, inevitable, as if Sebastian saw their relationship following the same trajectory as the Earth around the Sun. Matthew would have envied it if he didn't resent it so much.

  "I want you to leave me alone," Matthew said, hating that he had to half-shout it to be heard above the music and conversation. It lent a note of desperation to his voice. But he was afraid to draw any closer to the booth. Proximity was dangerous. Sebastian possessed some sort of weird power that caused Matthew to lose all self-control. "I came here to pick up someone. A submissive."

  "And I came here to celebrate my birthday." Sebastian toasted himself with his empty glass, his smile wry. "Are you my present?"

  It was his birthday. Sebastian wasn't following Matthew, he was here for himself.

  Matthew felt stupid and conceited for thinking, even for a moment, that Sebastian cared enough about him to stalk him.

  He remembered Sebastian's question and glared at the blond. "I'm sure you've got plenty of presents waiting for you. You just have to snap your fingers and they're yours."

  Sebastian studied him for several moments. He then leaned forward so he could reach into a back pocket on his pants. He withdrew a business card and placed it on the table beside the ice bucket. "Take it."

  Matthew told himself to walk away. Picking up the card would prolong whatever this was between them. It would show Sebastian that he'd gotten his hooks into Matthew, that he was right and Matthew was not the Dom he hoped he was, that he was curious about exploring the possibility of playing the submissive.

  Fisting his hands, Matthew turned around and pushed through the crowd covering the dance floor. He was halfway across, being knocked back
and forth by gyrating bodies, before he ran into a roadblock formed by two guys making out as if they needed the other man's lungs in order to breathe. One guy was wearing a collar and the other guy had his hand wrapped around the collar, using it to hold the other guy in place for the kiss. The possessiveness and desire in the scene made Matthew ache. It made him question why he was fighting this. Would it really be that terrible to be the guy in the collar? Would giving in to Sebastian make him less of a man?

  His eyes burned. He wished things could be easier. He wished he wasn't so afraid.

  "You're such a wimp," he told himself, stricken.

  Before he could think about what he was doing and chicken out, he elbowed his way back to the booths. He stalked up to the table and snatched the business card. Sebastian's expression didn't alter even though Matthew's face was flushed with shame and he couldn't maintain eye contact.

  "Come by tonight after midnight," Sebastian told him calmly. "Surrender to me and let me take care of you. No more fighting. No more pretending. I can tell you're tired. Let me help. I'll bring you peace."

  Pressure rose in Matthew's chest. His vision shimmered as he stared at the table rather than at Sebastian. "What if you're wrong? What if you don't know me the way you think you do?"

  "We'll find out tonight, one way or the other." Sebastian leaned back in the booth and his lids lowered over his eyes until only slits remain. "Run along, little sub. You're not picking up anyone tonight. Tonight you belong to me."

  Lust and yearning burned in Matthew's veins. He hated himself for imagining things he shouldn't. Crushing the card in his fist, he fled, throwing elbows left and right as he mowed his way through the club and out the front door.

  ~~~~~

  Sebastian lived in a little cottage at the beach, shaded in ferns and flowers. Matthew, standing within the shadows of the house next door, had expected something different. A high- rise, maybe, or at least a fancy condo. Sebastian probably made a lot of money from his clientele at the Raven. Someone like him would have plenty of regulars who would pay him anything for his time and attention. And yet he lived here, in this cute little place.

  Actually, it suited Sebastian perfectly.

  A breeze came in off the ocean, cooling Matthew's heated brow. He'd changed into a plain T-shirt and switched out the boots for sandals. His so-called Dom uniform was bunched in his hamper, stained with humiliation. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to wear it again, or if he'd want to.

  After leaving Nine Inches he'd gone straight home, taken a shower and sulked with a couple of beers. He'd thrown Sebastian's card away three times and fished it out of the trash three times. Then he'd driven by the house, prowling, studying it from multiple angles, telling himself he was searching for the trap but in truth searching for the courage to stop the car and get out. A half an hour ago he finally had. He'd stood in the shadows of the next yard ever since.

  He was sick with nervousness. It made him jumpy. Paranoid. He was convinced someone was watching him but the houses around him were dark and the cars parked on the street appeared empty although he couldn't see into all of them. But why would anyone be watching him? It was all in his mind. Because he was terrified of why he had come here.

  It was another twenty minutes before the motorcycle pulled up and deposited its white- garbed rider. Matthew held his breath, afraid to be noticed as Sebastian walked beneath the flower and leaf-covered trellis down the side of his house to the door. He seemed unaware of Matthew as he let himself inside. Lights came on in two of the windows. Maybe the kitchen and a bedroom. Matthew wondered what would happen if he remained in the shadows. How long until Sebastian gave up and went to bed? Or would he call up some other pathetic loser to take Matthew's place?

  The latter prospect made him angry. If Sebastian was going to mess with his head like this he was going to be responsible for the outcome. Squaring his shoulders, he stormed across the yards and knocked on the door with what he thought was a bold, strong knock.

  Within a minute Sebastian opened the door. He was shirtless and barefoot, his curls mussed as if he'd just pulled off his shirt. He smiled at Matthew.

  "I was wondering when you'd come out of hiding."

  Embarrassed, Matthew shot back, "I only came by to tell you to leave me alone. Don't come to the diner, otherwise I'll quit."

  "That seems extreme, don't you think? Come inside and we'll discuss it." He stepped back and disappeared into the house, leaving the door open.

  Mouth pursed, Matthew stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He was in a kitchen: small, quaint and clean. Not many gadgets but an impressive cappuccino maker sat beside the stove. On the fridge were pinned several birthday cards and a magnetic calendar.

  Matthew peered at the calendar, expecting to find male names scrawled all over it but on it were written in neat handwriting standard things like doctor appointments and car maintenance notes.

  The Raven must keep track of Sebastian's clients.

  Wary, Matthew followed the light down a plain hallway and past a bathroom. He came to a stop in the doorway of a bedroom. There was a plain but well cared-for dresser with a large mirror sitting atop it facing a king-sized four poster bed. There was a leash attached to one of the foot posts, trailing down to the carpet. Matthew stared at the leash, his eyes bugging and his mind swirling with the possible scenarios during which the leash might be used.

  "You should blink or your eyes will dry out," Sebastian commented as he stepped out of a closet that Matthew hadn't noticed. He'd changed into light gray yoga pants that reached his calves. Matthew had trouble envisioning him doing yoga, but Sebastian evidently did something because his body was slim and muscled just the way Matthew liked.

  Sebastian perched on the side of the bed and folded his hands over his lap. "I'd like you to remove your clothes and crawl to me," he said as if he were commenting on the color of the walls.

  The tone disoriented Matthew. Doms were supposed to be bossy and forceful. It unnerved him that Sebastian wasn't like that. Calm and expectant was Sebastian. As if he had all the time in the world and the patience of someone who knew he would always get what he wanted if he but waited. Matthew didn't think he himself would be that type of Dom. Matthew would be demanding, but not in a bad way, and he'd use a touch of force, just for excitement. But Sebastian had already said that he preferred not to use force, and Matthew wasn't sure if he was disappointed that the man was holding firm to his word.

  "Can we talk first?" he asked, stalling for time.

  "Why? So you can whine and argue about what's best for you?"

  "I'm not going to whine, but yeah, maybe we should talk about what's best for me because I'm not a hundred percent sure that this is it. I mean, this was never what I wanted. Ever. And then you came in and started bullying me and making me all confused and now I don't know what I want but I'm not sure I--"

  "Be quiet."

  Matthew surprised himself by shutting his mouth.

  Sebastian shook his head as if chiding a little kid. "The last thing you need is to further analyze what's happening to you. You've had enough time to do that and you're more of a mess than when I found you. I'm in control now. The confusion ends now."

  It sounded so corny. Matthew nearly rolled his eyes. "You don't even know me."

  "Don't I?" Sebastian smiled. "I know that if you walk out of here right now you won't sleep all night. I know that you'll jerk yourself off imagining what would have happened if you'd stayed but it won't be satisfying because you'll only be guessing. You want to know what I can give you. It's all you've been thinking about since I fucked your virgin ass. I did something to you, I changed you, and you don't know what it was. Deep inside, you want more of it."

  Matthew breathed shallowly. His body was beginning to feel electrified.

  "Take off your clothes," Sebastian repeated calmly. "When you remove them, you remove the man you were before. You enter as a babe, unstained and perfect, ready to be molded into what I need, which, y
ou will learn, is what you need."

  Matthew noted the distinction but wasn't bothered by it. It made him curious.

  "You leave all your mistakes and your failures behind," Sebastian continued in his low, soothing voice. "No more Matthew, who is confused and afraid. Here you are my submissive who worries about nothing, whose only focus is to please me and serve me."

  The words seduced Matthew. To not worry, to not stress, to not have to dictate the situation and make sure everyone was having a good time... He closed his eyes for a few seconds, letting the possibilities infuse his brain. With his eyes still closed, he slowly pulled his T-shirt off over his head. He let it drop from his fingers and stood for a moment, testing how he felt. After a few seconds he opened his eyes and removed his pants, wanting to see Sebastian's reaction to his naked body. He knew he looked alright. Better than most. Sebastian disappointed him, though. His face gave nothing away as his eyes moved over Matthew's body and lingered on his half-hard cock.

  "You have a little boy cock," Sebastian said.

  Matthew flushed. His arms twitched. He wanted to cover himself. But when he looked down at the floor he saw that his cock had fully hardened.

  "I won't be touching your little boy cock," Sebastian went on, not maliciously, only stating a fact. "If you're good I may let you touch it. Tell me you understand."

  "I--" Matthew cleared the frog from his throat. "I understand."

  "Master."

  He winced. God, could he say it?

  "Surrender," Sebastian whispered.

  Matthew shivered. "I understand... Master."

  "You're going to be a very good sub, I can tell."

  Mortification and pleasure raced across his skin, turning his cheeks bright red. He didn't understand how he could feel both but Sebastian didn't give him time to dwell on it.

  "On your knees and crawl to me. This is how you will enter my room. Always."

  The implication that this would happen on more than one occasion caused Matthew's already trembling knees to buckle, dumping him to the carpet. He caught himself on hands and knees and glanced up uncertainly at Sebastian. The blond nodded once so Matthew began crawling.